my life...

2004-05-04T09:59:00.000-04:00

Hello to whoever still checks this site... your way behind times my friend. lol, jk. well... you are. just letting you know, i got a new lj. you can check it out if you like. i probably wont really post here anymore. it took me a while to even remember the password.
+++++++++++++Jamie'sLJ+++++++++++++

2003-11-30T20:41:00.000-05:00

I’m Looking Through You

(Lennon/McCartney)

I'm looking through you, where did you go?
I thought I knew you, what did I know?
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Your lips are moving, I cannot hear
Your voice is soothing, but the words aren't clear
You don't sound different, I've learned the game
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

You're thinking of me, the same old way
You were above me, but not today
The only difference is you're down there
I'm looking through you, and you're nowhere

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

I'm looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Yeah
Oh baby I'm changed
Ah I'm looking through you
Yeah I'm looking through you

-The Beatles

2003-07-29T12:24:00.000-04:00

Jane of "Jane"
You lack confidence in yourself, but you really are
a beautiful person. Probably. How would I know?

"You're worried there might not be anything at
all inside. That you're worried should tell you
that's not right."

What Ben Folds song character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-07-17T23:09:00.000-04:00

-hey jamie, you should come listen to us jam on wed.
-sure why not.
-hey jamie, you should bring your sax and jam with us, that would be great.
-sure, why not.
-hey jamie, maybe you can play with us on a song at the cafe.
-sure thing, i'll be there.
-hey jamie, i set us up a gig at the mark, downtown orlando...the guitar player, bass player, and singer cant make it.. but would you like to play?
- um... sure why not.
hmmmm... you never know.

2003-07-08T00:34:00.000-04:00

i have the worst issues with my... oh what do you call em.. technology stuff... appliances... modern toys. oh, whatever. i just, am not good with them. first off, my computer. ha. its not that old, but it sure does act like it. its like, an older person that is capable of walking just fine, but pretends to have a limp or.. even be crippled just for pitty. my great grandfather used to do that, it was actually quite funny to watch sometimes. but anyways, my computer. yea.. i dont want to talk about that anymore. another thing is my stereo in my room. it wont play any cd's anymore! whats up with that?! at first i thought it was just having problems with the burned cd's since its kind of old. but today i put in a real cd(i was all excited that i would be able to listen to some good music) and it wouldnt even play that! geez. i think i have something going against me. so.. so far here is what my day will be like.. i get on the computer.. want to get on line(still have dial up) and it freezes on me. restart it.. it runs fine. the screen does this little shakey thing sometimes.. but it doesnt make it freeze. try to put in a cd and its too much for it to handle. eh. so i go to turn on my stereo and well, that doesnt play cd's now. so later on i get in my car to go somewhere. and That cd player is the worst of them all. it has one of those faces that flips down to insert the cd. and for some odd reason the only way the thing will possible play is if you keep it in the down possition and keep your hand on it.. with a little extra pressure. i have figured this down to a science. sometimes you have to give it a push foward.. and sometimes pulling it back a little. usually it will stop playing if i take my hand off of it, so it just depends how badly i want to hear that song i guess. but, half of the time its just a waste, because it wont play no matter what you do. oh, but sometimes after i give it a beating it might work. i find this one the most.... special of all my technical difficulties. welp.. i think i've said enough.

2003-07-02T23:53:00.000-04:00

Random thoughts:
kris is comming down from illinois tonight.. i just found this out.. today! i really wish that i could see him. but i'll be going to new symrna for the next few days, so i guess i'll have to wait until sunday. i cant wait for the fourth of july. every year its a really big event for me. i always go to my cousins house for the whole week(this year that unfortunatly didnt quite work out.. but i can still go for about three days)and then for the fourth we always go up to flagler beach-where all the fun is. its great. tons of people show up. its tradition. i really need a new watch. the one that i had went through the wash- and the dryer. it obviously was no good after that. sooo.. it is quite annoying sometimes not knowing what time it is. oh well. watches are expensive. i really miss hanging out with heather. its been way too long since i have seen her last. she has a job now at disney.. and disney actually gives her hours to work, unlike my job. but really, i dont mind not having to work a whole lot. this is probably going to by my last summer that i wont have to worry about summer school and crap like that. so i'm just gonna take it easy. wich.. is probably not the best idea now that i think about it. i should probably be working a lot more, to save up for this school year. oh well. anyways,i have really made the most of my summer i think. i have done quite a bit.. that i never imagined that i would do. for one- i am kinda involved with this band.. and we practice every wednesday. i love it when there is something constant.. something thats regular that i can look foward to every week. jonathan comes to orlando, goes to class, then we have chic-fil-a at 8:00. then we go to jeffs house and practice. its so much fun. i just wish that i could feel more a part of the group. i just, dont feel good enough. when they do like what i play, i feel like i'm cheating them out or something. hah. i really hope that jonathan and i can practice saturday so that i can get the song down that we were working on tonight. its a toughie. but when its done, its gonna be immaculate. or do you spell that imaculate? eh, whatever. i am a horrible speller. another thing that i have been able to do this summer is practice my guitar more. i have gotten so much better. i think being around other guitar players so much has really helped. oh.. i have had this desire to paint. like, this whole summer. thats something yet to be done! i want to create a masterpiece. haha. that will be so much fun. i just need to get some paints, paintbrushes, and a canvas, and an idea of what to paint, and i will be good to go. i'm so excited. eh, there are so many little things that u just.. never take time to think about. its really quite amazing. like, do you realize how many little packages of ketchup are wasted?! i mean, thats a lot of ketchup.. and a lot of money, just being thrown away. every second someone is probably throwing them away. and on top of that.. they are each so small, u know, those little individually wrapped things. you can never get all of the ketchup out anyways, so thats wasted too! wow, thats just aweful. oh, and am i the only one, or does it get really annoying when you have to waste time going to the bathroom?! i mean, you have to stop what you are doing, just to .. u know.. and it just feels like such a waste of time, and it gets in the way .. and u can loose your concentration on what you were doing. ugh. its like, having to stop at the gas station. u have you stop traveling to.. wherever you were headed just to pay an outrageous amout of money to put some liquid in your transportation. and then your on your way again. i wonder how much time you spend staring at the gas pump gage thing as you see your gallons slowly rising, and the price quickly doubling your gallons. heh. amazing.

2003-06-24T10:17:00.000-04:00

THE SUN IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I"M SO HAPPY! it has been raining way too much lately. its nice for maybe... an evening. but not a whole week! ok i'm spent.

2003-06-16T00:42:00.000-04:00

hm, i never know how to start off a post.. how i should write that first sentance to keep the reader engaged in what i'm writing about.. wich, i would really like to be able to do. well, i only hope too... its the least that a horrible writter can hope for i guess. haha. well anyways, whew, i got those first few sentances out of the way. now... about what i was planning on writing about. hm... this past month has been so interesting. it pretty much started out with umm... the first day of summer. may 14th. i had previously went to my cousin mandi's graduation party and met many very cool people there. one of wich i was planning on meeting that evening, wednesday may 14. i was stoked that he was interested in meeting with me to talk about his new and shall i say, immaculate clothing company called ekzeteo.
that evening i had so much fun. this guy completely amazed me with his long list of talents. and the neat thing is, is that he didnt go about all proud and boastful about it. thats so awesome! thank you for not being concieted. for someone with so many gifts and talents, it would seem easy to become full of yourself. we ended up talking about all sorts of things. i felt amazingly comfortable just telling him anything by the end of the evening. its as if.. i had known him for a long time already or something. it was nice. i wished that evening didnt have to end.
a few nights later we talked again and agreed on going to the pete yorn concert together. i was soooo amazed that he would buy a concert ticket and go with me... without even listening to pete yorns music yet. it was actually quite funny.. well i guess to me it was. anyway... um.. yeah, i think that night has to be rated in at least the top five best memories for me. noo, nothing "happend". i didnt want anything to. it was perfect just the way it was. after the concert we just did as we wished. we ate some food at steak and shake(wich, i must say ... their lights are way too bright. they hurt my eyes, has anyone ever noticed that before?)and then headed back home. its so weird how you can pass the tired stage and get in this crazy mood. well, ha. we both did.. so we swung on a couple of swings at the playground near my house and he played his guitar for me. one of the things that we talked about that stuck in my mind, and still does, was about his ex girlfriend. i about melted when i saw the look in his eyes when he talked about her. the love that he has for her, it seems never ending. he would do anything...even go without talking to her for a year, if thats what she wanted. it breaks my heart that they cant be together and happy right now. maybe i feel this way, because i once felt that way towards someone, so i understand. i would have done anything for him(my ex)... but i guess people change. he didnt choose to show his love towards me the same way i did for him. i think thats what caused me to fall for this guy.. in the most interesting way. i long for that love that he describes for this girl who i've never seen. i long for someone to stay so true to me... and be so sincere. and i wish it could come from this guy. i wish he could care for me like that. i wish he would write songs about me... and think about me even when he gets busy. i wish he would put my picture in his car. but.. at the same time, i feel guilty for feeling this way, because i know he still likes her. i feel so bad when i take up his time, when it could be his time thinking about her. i feel bad when i ask for his time, just an evening to hang out. i'm so sorry for starting to like him... i dont think he thought twice about me. i'm sorry for. hm. i dunno .. should i be sorry? oh bother. i get so confused. well anyhow. i'm so very thankful that i can say we are friends. so yea.. thats the latest and greatest with me. or wait, shall i just say, the latest... not quite the greatest. but, just the latest.

post script- feel free to comment now that i have finally figured out how to put them on here, thanks to katie and heather.

2003-06-15T23:08:00.000-04:00

i have learned a few things about myself this summer. one thing.. when i want to do something, i get it done so quickly.. without wasting anytime. usually i do this and i have no regrets. i dont even think about it. hah. like, i wanted to paint my closet red. ok, next day i was at home depot buying red paint, came home and painted it red. it was done. a few days later i decided a couple of my walls would look better a darker shade of blue.. alrighty then. i hoped in my car and bought some dark blue paint, came home and painted them. as easily said was done. so then the next day i said, well.. why dont i repaint my desk, i hate that color. so, like usuall, i went to home depot(my favorite place) and bought some more paint, came home and tried it out. and ugh, it did not turn out as planned. this has never happend to me before! oh well, so i ran back up to home depot to get some paint stripper as fast as i could. as soon as i got home i began working on removing that paint job before anyone sees it. i hope to finish it tomorrow.

2003-06-14T02:42:00.000-04:00

so, my last post was so nice and insparational.. i almost hate to post again to change the mood. the past few weeks have been great to say the least. i have grown fond of spending time with certain people lately. and when i grow closer to people, its just my nature to have the desire to do anything for them. anything they want or need, i'm ready. i like to help, and be the one they feel like they can fall back on. but what happens when i need someone? where did all my friends go? why do i feel like i have no one that i can pour my heart out to.. or to just know that they will be there for me. or actually go out of their way... out of their schedual to see me. ?????? i think this is something i've always longed for. maybe it will only come when i find the guy that God has planned for me to marry. who knows. i'm so tired of superficial friendships. today was horrible. it started out horrible and lonely, and it ended the same. who cares.

2003-06-05T11:42:00.000-04:00

i feel like there is so much i would like to accomplish this summer. there seems to be nothing to do, so why dont i try to make the best of it eh? i'd really l like to lifeguard at the Y...but that depends if i get the job. I want to get better at guitar. i'd like to practice my saxaphone so i'm able to "jam" with jonathan. i'd like to learn how to surf. i want to start painting... and creating some art work... i'd like to start running on a regular basis. i would like to entirely redecorate my room. well... just make it better i guess. i'd like to get some new glasses and get my cd player put in my car. i wana start taking more pictures and get better at using my camera. and theres probably more stuff, but i cant remember it. i think thats enough stuff to handle for right now anyway.

2003-05-19T01:26:00.000-04:00

I have a desire to be a good writer;
i have a desire to just.. put whatever:
i have a desire to be a painter;
i have a desire to be an architect.
i have a desire to be wild;
i have a desire to be meek.
i have a desire to be sexy;
yet i have a desire to be modest.
i have a desire to be married;
i have a desire to be free.
i have a desire to be center of attention;
yet i have the desire to just listen.
i have a desire to be rich;
i have a desire to give it all away.
i have a desire to be a buisness woman;
i have a desire to be a mom.
i have a desire to be an interior decorator;
i have a desire to be a dental heigenist.
i have a desire to be a musician;
i have a desire to be a designer.
i have a desire to be understood;
i have a desire to be mysterious.
i have a desire to be childish;
i have a desire to be mature.
i have a desire to be noticed;
i have a desire to hide.
i have a desire to be naughty;
i have a desire to obey.
i have a desire to live in the mountains;
yet i have a desire to live in the tropics.
i have a desire to be different;
i have a desire to fit in.
i have a desire to please others;
i just have a desire to be myself.

2003-05-17T01:36:00.000-04:00

I escaped in my car, my getaway, my hide away. Night filled with strange moonlight and feelings only left me to long for a conversation with someone close. A conversation to save me from these odd thoughts. It always seems to work, ya know. Just talk to someone and you will forget all that has happened, because you soon become enwrapped in their words. Its easy. But no.. why don’t I go to God this time. Why do I always have to go to friends? People who have their own lives and problems let alone mine to hide for me. I’m sorry God for not glorifying you more in my life. So I sat in my quiet ride, and thought…

Nice sunset - nice ride - nice guy - nice eyes - nice chocolate brownie frappachino - nice talk - nice walk.
Strange looks - strange movie - strange feeling - strange fit - strange moon – strange air - strange night.

2003-04-08T23:36:00.000-04:00

I said, "I will watch my ways
and keep my toungue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
as long as the wicked are in my presence."
But when i was silent and still,
not even saying anything good,
my anguish increased.
My heart grew hot within me,
and as i meditated, the fire burned;
then i spoke with my toungue:

"show me, O Lord, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.
You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.
Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it."

"But now, Lord, what do i look for?
My hope is in you.
Save me from all my transgressions;
do not make me the scorn of fools.
I was silent; I would not open my mouth,
for you are the one who has done this.
Remove your scourge from me;
I am overcome by the blow of your hand.
You rebuke and discipline men for their sin;
you consume their wealth like a moth-
each man is but a breath."

"Hear my prayer, O Lord,
listen to my cry for help;
be not deaf to my weeping.
For i dwell with you as an alien,
a stranger, as all my fathers were.
Look away from me, that i may rejoice again
before i depart and am no more."
-king david
Psalm 39

During bible study tonight rachel read this verse. it just really touched my heart tonight as i was listening to the words that david wrote. as he was writing this, all of the frusteration and emotions that he felt. its pretty amazing how God still loved him and even called him a man of his own heart. i think that a lot of people today can relate to this.

2003-02-15T01:25:00.000-05:00

my heart is sad but my spirit stays happy

2002-12-16T21:34:00.000-05:00

I'm finally done with senior project!!! Whooohoo. now i just have a couple more tests to take and i'm done for the first half of my senior year. only one more term to go. after that i have a feeling my life will change. the begining of this year i couldnt wait to get out of high school, everything seemed so rediculous. but now that its getting closer, i've put a whole lot more thought into it...and ya know, i'm a bit afraid of how college may change me and my life. i like it how it is, and i like me how i am. i've watched some of my older friends grow and change with thier first year in college. some change for the better, but some just change into someone different i guess. but i suppose thats just life.
(by the way... its your turn... and do i get some chocolate now?)

2002-12-03T09:12:00.000-05:00

Ok, it took me about 15 minutes to sign into this... i better write something now eh? well...its finally the christmas season.. the season i look foward to most out of the whole year. it comes with the combination of the greatest weather, lots of happy people, and a happy jamie with a full tummy. thats such a wonderful thing. another thing thats so great is all of the worshiping and christmas music. something about the joy during christmas just makes me smile.

even with all of these great positive things i can come up with about the christmas season, senior project prevails in bursting my bubble. i have had so much stress. it seriously can ruin my mood just thinking about it. (so people, i'm sorry if i'm not the usually jamie your used to)... its almost done... but the speach is next week and for me that is the hardest part of the whole thing. i get so nervous speaking in front of people. i have no idea why. its not because i'm selfconsious about my hair or how i look or anything, or even unadequate about my research and knowlege. so i have no idea why i would be uncomfortable with telling the class about my project. Oh well.

lately i've been sorta confused about ... just.. decisions i should make. i dont think my relationship with God is where it should be. so in that case decisions would natually be more difficult to overcome. so with that being said i dont think i will be making any big decisions untill i can get right with God and be really comfortable with it. eh... just my thoughts...

I have had the most difficult time writing in my blog. its either; 1. i'm lazy 2. i cant remember my password 3. i cant remember my user name or 4. i cant think of what to write. maybe if someone told me they would give me some sort of reward or treat for writting i would write me often...

2002-11-22T22:11:00.000-05:00

so why is it that i put every single ounce of my caring nature, thoughtfullness and love towards this one special person, and at the time... not really much to talk about in return. i guess i didnt notice, i was just thankful that he was my boyfriend. i was just happy that he apsolutely loved the food i made him, and he gave me noticeably great hugs... (wich is for some odd reason something i seem to pay attention to about guys). but why on earth did i let myself not even notice that it was only me going way out of my way for this person? i guess cuz when you really love someone, you could care less and would go apsolutely way out of your way to do anything for them. so, there i was. but i would defineatly have to include that it was well worth it. i still dont care. with a relationship there comes the balanced up's and down's. i took the chance, and i 'm glad i did. its funny though, out of that relationship came some of the best days in my life, and the worst days in my life. so i suppose it equals out. i dunno why this, of all things is on my mind right now, but it is! crazy stuff. i guess its cuz i hope that i never get hurt that bad again. but then again... it takes loving someone as much as i loved him to get hurt to that degree.

2002-11-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

hmm.. i dont usually care about these silly quizes.. but eh, this one is sorta cool. maybe because i actually like what it says about me.

down-to-earth

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

2002-11-15T16:27:00.000-05:00

This has to be the greatest time of year. the weather just makes everything so perfect. well, except for english and all-county tryouts.. and maybe a few other things. but other than that, this has to be my favorite kind of weather. its so refreshing, and puts me in the greatest of moods.

you know how certain songs or specific things can remind you of a past event? well yea, the cold always reminds me of the student venture fastbreak trip i took my tenth grade year. i must have had the best time of my life on that trip. its also probably the coldest that i've ever been. lol. The place that we were staying at was located right by the water, so when the sun was down and the wind was blowing, it got soooooo cold. but overall it was great memories with some of my greatest friends i'll ever have. well anyways, that was my thought for today.

2002-11-04T00:18:00.000-05:00

Okay, i admit i have become very lazy and have slacked on keeping up with my blog journal here. but here i am again.. i'll try to express whats been goin on in my mind. i think i become lazy about writing not because i dont feel like slacking on the several little, no point conversations to write, or even to lazy to sign in, but because i just stink at writing, and i feel that if i write something, i want it to sound good, and even have good grammar. sorta like when your a perfectionist, and a teacher assigns a project, even though you know your not the best drawer in the world, you want your poster or presentation to look and be the best, and for everyone to be like, "wow, look that that one, thats so awesome". and then on top of that, i have a hard time expressing my feelings, especially on this, "on line" journal, where anyone can come with thier curious little eyeballs and quick judgement to read all about me. so i guess i could say i'm a little bit... private about some stuff. but when i do come to write, i feel as if its a place of relief. like, when your so excited and happy or so discouraged and down, you just have to talk to someone. so, when theres no one imparticular that i can think of talking to, i'll just come write. so i guess you can say that has not happend a whole lot lately.

as i was on my way to my dads saturday night, i was overcome with this sense of joy, and pure happiness. it was a beautifull night, the weather was perfect. i had my windows down with jimmy eat world playing softly as i thought about how great life is, if you just look at it from an optomistic point of fiew. i feel like my life is at its peak of good things to come. i am almost affraid it is too good and that something bad must happen soon, otherwise i'll be certain God is being to kind to me.

as i keep on driving down 436 i then start to think, man... everything is great. i mean, i could always work on my relationship with God.. yes.. that always has room to get better, but other than that i have so many great friends, and family. and did i say the weather was apsolutely wonderful? yes i think so.... but the only thing that for some reason i seemed to miss, was the ability to rest my hand in a much stronger, warmer one.. and be able to talk about the daily things, feelings, and strugles. about God and life.. anything. just simple talk, but meaningfull, and mature. but just the feeling of having that one, someone who you love so much, that nothing really has to be said to be satisfied but just thier presence is enough, is such a splendid thing. i think i'm starting to miss it. but i really dont want you to think wrong of me. i'm probably just thinking this because of the cold weather. who knows. i cant even understand myself sometimes.

but over all these wierd little thoughts of mine.. at church i learned a whole lot tonight. things i should have taken up more space in this blog for.. but i can always put it in a nutshell for ya... bro. danny talked about how we really need to guard our hearts. guys... let me tell ya, this world is filled with so much corruption, and stupid stuff. its so horrible that we have become numb to the fact that God is hurt when people are gay, have abortions, and say his name in vain. we have forgotton that God loves us more than anyone else could, yet we leave him by the way side to watch a bad movie, go drink, or even listen to music we know deep down inside is not what God would approve of. i say all this not cuz i'm putting anyone down, but because i realized tonight how important it is that we pay attention to what we do. i know i need to watch myself sometimes. its hard though. so.anyways, these were just my thoughts and whats been on my mind. our verse tonight was...

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.
Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
Proverbs 4:23-27

2002-10-06T21:53:00.000-04:00

So, here i am again after a long...very long few weeks. i have had so much on my mind i hardly know where to start with writing it down. its all in my mind just cramed in there, and i can barely see it all, but i have no clue how to start with even telling someone about it. i guess that comes with experience in writing.. i'm just a beginner. i guess i could almost consider myself writing pretty darn good for a bad writer.. if you would actually consider this writing at all. but anyways, i rather not dwell on my writing skills.. i just like to write my thoughts. so.. i wish that i could just ask God a question.. and he would just answer me right back. no waiting for signs or anything.. just, straight up tell me.. jamie, go to this college and major in that. oooh, that would be so wonderful. i would do it, i would do just what He told me to do, if only i could hear Him. because i know that He knows what is best for me. and its my desire to do what He wants me to do, just sometimes its hard to know what that is! ya know? so... lately i've been extremely stressed with many already established and well off adults asking me the same questions: so jamie, where are you going to college? what are you going to major in? heh, may as well ask me, what the heck are you going to do with your life child? make up your mind! yes, yes, i do need to make up my mind. i need to make up my mind about a lot of things. thats just a part of life though. if it wasnt for that... life would probably be boring. that brings me to homecoming, another issue that has been clouding my mind for the past several weeks. and yes, still people ask: so jamie, who are you going with? what are you going to do? haha. life is crazy. so many decisions. so, yes, yes it is amazing i made up my mind, but was that the best decision??? eh, i have no idea. i think i'm one of those people who have to analyze everything. i'll pick out the possitive and negative/ pro and con/ good and bad about each situation and evaluate every detail to ensure that my decision will turn out to be the right one. i suppose thats not a bad thing. so another problem i've been trying to decide the best way to aproach is with this friend of mine. well, i thought she was my friend but apperently she feels differently. that sure is a shame. i dont think extremely highly of myself in a concieted way or anything, but i do think of myself as someone who values friendships. all of my friends mean so much to me, it hurts to think she doesnt understand that. i hope that one day i will figure out just how to fix this little problem of mine. but through all of these problems and trivials in life, it can only make me stronger, and i can always count on God to be there for me to get me through it all. here are my verses for today:

The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall:
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

music:caedmon's call

2002-09-23T18:15:00.000-04:00

well, life is just chuggin along, and i feel like i'm being swept away with it. days go by, and i'm just making it one step at a time. senior year is soo agonizing. my mind is on college, life, and a career... not band, canterbury tales, or if i'm allowed to wear my sandles or not. i feel like i am ready to move on in life, but at the same time i dont really want the responsibility yet. i'm not even sure what i would like my major to be. but anyways, the past month is a blur in my head. i wish i could just go back to this summer, when everything was perfect. spending countless days at the beach, dinners, movies, ice cream... but its all over now. it is all but a vivid memory in my head. like just waking up from a dream, and hopeing that i will remember it for the rest of my life. hoping i'll remember every little detail and comment. but somehow i have a feeling , like most dreams it will soon fade away, being covered by the stress of everyday life. . but life goes on, and theres nothing i can do about that. just to look forward to the future and the plan that God has for me… i know it will be great… one day

2002-09-21T23:59:00.000-04:00

ok, so tonight was just soo much fun. my friend julia and i went out to waterford and talked and did as our hearts desired. it was wonderful, and as i always say, u need a little break and a good time every now and then. the only thing is... i find myself saying that about every day. oh well. i notice its so great how much joy you can get from the little things in life. if you just sit back and think about all of the awesome things God has created, and how wonderful life can be if you just look at it from that perspective. at this point, life is good. and as of right now, i'm going to bed. i'm outa here

2002-09-18T18:23:00.000-04:00

okay... here i am, once again getting myself involved in another "on line" project. lets see how it goes this time. my friend heather always comments on my strange thoughts and tells me i need to post them. so here ya go. i hope you enjoy. :o)